Queer-ing the Air: Ignorance In and About the LGBTQ+ Community

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault

Created by the Project DOT program for LGBT+ Youth members,  Fall 2020

As members of the LGBTQ+ community and Project DOT interns in the Pride group, we are aware of the struggles facing our community when it comes to sexual violence. Our mission with this page is to address the issues that are key to preventing sexual violence by:

• Educating those outside of the LGBTQ+ community about the LGBTQ+ community and sexual violence in the community
• Providing helpful resources for the LGBTQ+ community 
• Allowing a safe space for LGBTQ+ youth to feel understood and supported
• Helping LGBTQ+ youth learn how to stay safe while navigating relationships
• Giving parents useful information to help their LGBTQ+ children

Project DOT is a grassroots program that combines community-responsive prevention education with robust neighborhood and social media-based organizing efforts for young adults from under-served communities. Youth are first trained in sexual violence prevention and civic leadership discourse during an eight-to-ten-week period. For the final five-to-eight-weeks of the curriculum, youth participate in a community mobilization project engaging adult caregivers, peers, and local community members/ leaders in a range of organizing activities, designed and led by the youth participants.

This page was developed by Project DOT interns in the Fall 2020 Pride Group. Through this program, DOT interns learned about not only harmful social norms contributing to sexual and relationship abuse in the LGBTQ+ community, but also ways to prevent sexual violence.   

1)  How does internalized homophobia lead to dating violence?

• According to a 2016 study on partner violence among gay and bisexual men in Atlanta, LGBTQ+ people struggling with their own sexual identity often have low self-esteem and doubt their self-value. More often than not, these people find themselves trapped in unhealthy relationships with abusive partners.  
• As Rob Stephenson, the Vice Chair for Research at University of Michigan’s Department of Health Behavior and Biological Sciences, states, “Living in a homophobic environment exerts a certain level of stress in relationships, and one way that stress can manifest is violence.”

2)  Bystander intervention is one of the most effective methods to proactively combat sexual harassment. According to the UTEP DOT Initiative, there are three ways to act as a bystander:

• Delegate to an appropriate person: are there other bystanders or allies who could intervene? Are there authority figures who could be involved?
• Distract: use creative ways to distract the people involved to de-escalate the situation.
• Directly intervene: if you feel comfortable enough, consider checking in with the person in harm’s way and/or separate the victim from the aggressor. Always make sure you secure the victim’s consent.

• FORGE (For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression): this organization intends to “reduce the impact of trauma on trans/non-binary survivors by advocating for systems reform and connecting survivors to healing possibilities”. The website has more specific resources for intimate partner violence, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.

• Miseducation of Cameron Post: this movie features a teenage girl grappling with pain and loss, but at the same time, she is creating a family on her own terms and learning what it means to empower herself by having confidence in her own identity.

• 54321 Grounding Technique: whenever you feel stressed out by relationship issues, you can use this technique to temporarily distract yourself from the stress and be more present. Using this technique, identify 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.

1)  There are many different sexualities, gender identities, and gender expressions on the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

• Sexuality has to do with who we are sexually or romantically attracted to. Some examples of sexuality are bisexual, pansexual, asexual, lesbian, gay.

• Gender identity is how an individual perceives themself and what they call themself. Gender expressions are how an individual expresses their gender and presents it to the world. 

2)  How can LGBTQ+ people prevent dating violence?

• Raise awareness: we must debunk the myth that LGBTQ+ people do not experience teen dating violence in the same way as heterosexual teens.
• Provide more resources and safe spaces for LGBTQ+ people, who often are trapped in unhealthy relationships for fear of being “outed”  

3)  Beware of harmful social norms & stereotypes about the LGBTQ+ community: 

• There is always a “top” and “bottom” in the relationship. 
• LGBTQ+ people are overly sexual or super sexually active.

• The Challenges Faced By LGBTQ Teens article: discusses the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ teens and what schools can do to battle these challenges.

• Gender Dysphoria video: discusses what gender dysphoria is and ways to cope with it.

• 10 Different Sexualities video: gives definitions and examples of ten different sexualties in an effort to help someone navigate the world of sexuality. 

• Unsupportive Family During The Holidays video: explains how to deal with an unsupportive family during the holidays while part of the LGBTQ+ community.

• The (Qu)H.E.R.E. website: is a guide to NY State resources for LGBT, TGNCNB (Trans, Gender Non-Conforming, Non Binary people) & BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Color) health and counseling services.